Some Say......
Before the Stig takes out whatever speedy car they've been testing that week, one of the Top Gear presenters gives us some information on the Stig's background. Here's a brief list that isn't really comprehensive, but can give some insight into the nature of the Stig. Hit the jump to see the list.
- He drinks a lot of petrol.
- He was born in space.
- He never blinks.
- He forages for wolves at night.
- He sleeps upside down like a bat.
- His sweat can be used to clean precious metals.
- His skin has the texture of dolphins.
- If you tune your radio to 88.4 FM you can actually hear his thoughts.
- He does not see like humans do, instead he sees numbers in green scrolling down (a reference to the The Matrix).
- He is scared of bells.
- He once punched a horse to the ground.
- His politics are terrifying.
- He lives in a tree.
- He likes DragonBoarder.
- He was raised by wolves.
- He appears on high-value stamps in Sweden.
- His favourite philosopher is Immanuel Kant.
- He has no understanding of clouds.
- His earwax tastes like Turkish Delight.
- He is confused by stairs.
- He naturally faces magnetic north.
- He is illegal in 17 U.S. states.
- His heart ticks like a watch.
- All his legs are hydraulic.
- He can "accumbularate".
- He appears on Japanese banknotes.
- There's an airport in Russia named after him.
- He is wanted by the CIA.
- His breath smells of magnesium.
- He can catch fish with his tongue.
- His tears are adhesive.
- If set alight, he'd burn for a thousand days.
- He is terrified of ducks.
- His voice can only be heard by cats.
- He has two sets of knees.
- He can swim seven lengths underwater.
- He has webbed buttocks.
- He can melt concrete on contact.
- He is more machine than man. (a reference to Darth Vader).
- His heart is in upside down.
- His teeth glow in the dark.
- His favorite food is raw meat.
- He has no age.
- He urinates 98 RON petrol (On The Top Gear Website Profiles)
- He can smell corners (On The Top Gear Website Profiles)
- He blinks like this. (Clarkson closing his thumb and forefinger on both held-up hands -- a reference to Men in Black)
- He has acid for blood. (a reference to the Alien).
- Jimmy Carter wants him dead.
- He has a bionic arm.
- He has a tattoo of Buzz Aldrin on his thigh.
- He is stumped by clouds.
- He has no fear.
- His ears aren't exactly where you would expect them to be.
- He once, "preposterously", had an affair with John Prescott (referring to Prescott's recent admission that he had had an affair with one of his secretaries).
- He has a digital face.
- If he felt like it, he could fire Alan Sugar. (a reference to the UK version of The Apprentice, featuring the aforementioned head honcho of Amstrad in the Donald Trump role)
- He has named every single blade of grass surrounding the Top Gear test track.
- His genitals are on upside down.
- If he could be bothered, he could crack the Da Vinci code in 43 seconds.
- His ears have a paisley lining.
- He is banned from the Chelsea Flower Show.
- The outline of his left nipple is identical to the Nürburgring
- If given an important job to do, he'll skive off and play croquet (Supposed reference to John Prescott May 2006)
Stig Rules!
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